We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
