I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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