Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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