Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
