What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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