I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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