She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Randomize
