I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
