What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
barbara walters just said penis...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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