Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
