ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
She said her name was "party"
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
