i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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