So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
where are you?
Hypothermia
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
