That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
