He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
