so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
