dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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