It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
