i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
