Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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