i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
