ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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