I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
