i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just cut my nipple shaving
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
