I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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