i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
