Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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