Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize