I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
