he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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