I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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