You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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