Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
As shirtless as possible
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
