...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
