she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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