I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
