Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
