i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
