So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
