Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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