i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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