well I can't set my house on fire every night
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
