I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
