I just made out with a guy for $7.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Randomize
