He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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