At least make sure they are 18
Why
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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