He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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