I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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