you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
