He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
