She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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