I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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