my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize