the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
