I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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