Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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