just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
