I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
