girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
