I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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