i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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