he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's blow job season.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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