and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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