my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
