Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
