I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
