pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
